Is it possible to protect yourself from the manipulator? Recognize and stop the daffodil? Yes, but for this it is useful to figure out what attracts him to you and why.
Narcissus and like they prefer to maintain relationships with people in which certain, convenient character traits are discovered.
“If you realize that your partner is a daffodil, you should think: what can be changed in yourself to protect yourself,” says the psychotherapist Shery Stein.
Why me?
Here are the qualities that so much like narcissistic personalities, but make their partners especially vulnerable to manipulations:
- The tendency to forgive. Narcissus always hurt their partners and therefore long -term relationships can maintain only with those who are ready to forgive
insults again and again.
- Devotion. Narcissus require unconditional devotion, but they themselves often hypocritically betray their partners. For example, having changed her husband or wife, they do not feel guilty, but, on the contrary, waits for him to accept and understand.
- The ability to see only good. Narcissus partners do not notice other people’s shortcomings, but the advantages often exaggerate. For example, a partner can be so fascinated by the external beauty of the narcissus that it will close his eyes to his disgusting character.
- The desire to think about others. When making a decision, such a person thinks first of all not about himself, but about another. Trying to guess how the partner-narcissus reacts to the act, and tries to adapt to it.
- Sacrifice. Narcissions prefer partners who are ready to sacrifice themselves. They are not interested in the needs of other people. On the contrary, you need someone who has no desires and who is ready to devote all to himself to take care of a loved one.
- Increased sense of responsibility. The victims of the daffodils are often inclined to take responsibility for others. The daffodils themselves, on the contrary, are extremely irresponsible and they need someone who will solve their problems. After all, someone needs to raise children and keep the family.
- Willingness to make concessions. Daffodils require everything to go as they want them. They establish the rules and control others. Partners are suitable for them who adapt to them in everything (abandon their desires and needs, change plans for the first request) and never argue.
How to protect yourself?
If you have realized that the partner abuses your trust and kindness, you can stop him. To do this, you do not need to destroy everything good in yourself and answer evil to evil. It is only necessary to firmly learn when and who can be forgiven, understand and endure, and when – no.
„The Bible was said:“ Do not stand the beads in front of the pigs „. This should be remembered when communicating with a person who treats you inappropriately. You should not abandon your best qualities, but are not obliged to show them and become vulnerable to manipulations, ”Styun recalls.
If your partner does not value your responsibility, a tendency to forgive and sacrifice yourself, see the good in others, willingness to make concessions, you have every right to treat him differently. This is a manifestation of wisdom and judgment.
Wisdom – lessons that we learn from life experience. Most likely, you are already wise enough to understand the true essence of daffodils. You realized how bad your nartzissa partner is actually treating you. Now you understand the whole essence of toxic and manipulative relations.
Reasonability – the ability to make wise decisions. When you realize that your partner shamelessly uses your kindness, you have the opportunity to decide how to relate to him: continue to indulge his whims or establish clear and hard boundaries.
“And remember: you should only treat those who deserve it,” Steins summarize.
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